I have the good fortune of picking up my 9 and 14 year old boys from school every day. It’s about a 12 minute drive home. We’re all happy to see each other but sometimes there’s conversation and sometimes there’s not. Once I noticed this I’d try to start a conversation. “How was your day?” I would ask. I’m sure you’ve all asked that. I can vividly remember my own mother asking me that when she picked me up from after school care. But we all know very little comes of that question. “It was fine”, “I don’t know” are common answers and that’s not the engagement you’re looking for.
I started checking in with my boys a little differently by changing up the questions.
“What was the best part of your day?” This question let’s them start with something that was fun, and forces them to find something positive about their day even if it was pretty rough overall.
“What was the most challenging part of your day?” This is the, what did you not like about your day, in a positive wrapper. They can think of the worst part of their day and realize it was a challenge, not a problem.
“What was the most rewarding part of your day?” This question is designed to recognize or remember any accomplishments they made over the course of their day. It can often be how they responded to the most challenging part of the day. It is meant to get them to acknowledge that their efforts can, and often do, result in a rewarding feeling.
“What did you have for lunch?” This is mostly a tactical logistical question so I am staying in sync with their day, because how much do I really know about my kids if I don’t know what they ate today?
“On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your day?” This gives them the opportunity to quantify and compare their days from day to day.
Those 5 questions often take less than 2 minutes to answer per child and have so many benefits.
- Develops their story-telling abilities
- Gives me an insight into their day
- Builds a connection between them and me
- Reinforces their perception of someone caring about their lives
- Gives them a higher consciousness of their days while they live them
- Allows us to identify any trends or issues
We’ve really enjoyed this practice and I encourage you to try it with your kids. It was a little clunky for them the first couple times I asked them, but within a week they would start enthusiastically listing off the best part of their day as soon as they got in the car.
Best Ops Pro 